


The War At Home: Day 3

by serendipityxxi



Series: The Void [6]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fix It Fic, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, The Void, by learning to use the troubles, defeating Croatoan, solving the troubles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityxxi/pseuds/serendipityxxi
Summary: Audrey, Duke and Nathan escape the Void and solve the Troubles. Mostly...





	1. Not Going Anywhere

**Author's Note:**

> Did I mention Jadzibelle has infinite patience when it comes to beta-ing? For which I'm infinitely grateful! <3
> 
> Gars and heart hounds are stolen shamelessly from Terry Goodkinds Sword of Truth series. Spidren are stolen with the utmost respect from Tamora Pierce's Tortall universe.

In the morning Audrey wakes from an uneasy sleep feeling just as tired as when she went to bed. She can’t remember her dreams but she remembers the fear. It’s mostly still there now that she’s awake. She gets out of bed and pads into the kitchen. The light through the windows is still blue with dawn, but there’s no hope of going back to bed now. She’s up. She finds herself staring at their map still spread across the table. The number of pins is overwhelming, so many places for Croatoan to hide.

Instead she turns to get the coffee started. The bag is so light. There’s barely enough for one last half pot. Four cups. She contemplates drinking Roger’s as she adds the water.

She doctors the cups to Duke and Nathan’s liking and carries them into the bedroom. The scent wakes Nathan before she can say anything. He smiles as he blinks bleary blue eyes at her, his expression so soft and open it hurts her heart. He sits up in bed, and readily takes the cup from her.

Duke is harder to wake. He grumbles and pulls the covers over his head. “I’m dead,” he complains, “dead people do _not_ have to wake up early.”

Nathan makes a low choking noise, slamming his coffee down on the bedside table and scrambling out of the bed. Duke throws his arm out in a wild grab for Nathan at the same time Audrey does. They hold onto him. Duke’s forearm wrapped around his collarbones tugs him back into bed, Audrey pushes on his shoulders and amazingly - Nathan lets them. He’s got a hand pressed tight over his eyes and Audrey can see how his breaths are coming way too sharp and shallow but he’s there, he’s not running.

“It was a joke, Nate,” Duke comforts. He meets Audrey’s gaze over Nathan’s shoulder, eyebrows arched in confusion. Audrey can see he’s a little overwhelmed by Nathan’s reaction but he keeps talking, soft and soothing. “Just a dumb joke. I shouldn’t have made it.”

Nathan shakes his head. “’s fine. I’m fine.”

Duke rests his temple against Nathan’s. “I’m here, Nathan,” he murmurs, voice still rough from sleep and Audrey sees how it makes Nathan shiver. He felt that not with his skin but somewhere deeper. “I’m alive,” Duke reassures and Nathan melts into him, he needed this, needed to hear it. “Not going anywhere,” Duke promises and Audrey, well she kinda maybe needed to hear that too. It makes her stomach flip in a good way, Duke promising to stay. “It had to be done, Nate,” Duke reassures.

“No. It didn’t!” Nathan explodes, pushing himself off the bed

Well, that was the wrong thing to say.

Sometimes Duke speaks fluent Nathan to the point where Audrey isn’t sure they actually need words to communicate and others…

“Nathan--” Audrey reaches out to him.

“No,” he throws up his hands, warding her off and she sits down hard on the bed.

He doesn’t want her touching him right now. She can respect that. Audrey curls her fingers into the blankets. She hates when he feels like her touch is a weapon against him.

“D’you have any idea how lucky we are?” Nathan hisses. He’s got his back pressed against the door of the room. The only way he could get further away is if he left. But he doesn’t leave. He stays, breath coming in ragged pants. Audrey knows it costs him something to stay, knows he hates being exposed like this, all his emotions on display but he’s proven he’ll pay the cost for them, for Duke. His hands are curled into fists at his sides and there’s angry red splotches blooming on his cheeks.

“Realize how stupid what we did was?” Nathan turns accusing eyes on Duke. “You could be dead right now. Because of me. Because of my hands!” Nathan turns and punches the wall. It’s a step up from punching Duke but isn’t any better for his poor knuckles.

“Nathan! Hey, buddy...” Duke eases off the bed, hands outstretched like he’s calming a wild animal. Nathan’s eyes _are wild_ , angry and frantic, his chest is heaving with his breaths.

“Get out, Duke,” he snarls.

Duke physically recoils from his tone, surprise in every inch of his body.

Before Audrey can begin to scold because seriously what the hell Nathan? Haven’t they spent the last week trying to convince Duke they want him to stay? Before Audrey can even open her mouth Nathan continues--

“Get Parker, get your truck and get out,” he orders.

That is definitely not what Audrey was expecting. Duke either, because he tries again.

“Nathan…”

“‘m serious here! You need to go,” Nathan grabs the car keys from the dresser and stalks across the room to press them into Duke’s hands. He curls Duke’s unresisting fingers around the hard bundle.

“Nathan,” Audrey tries now but Nathan turns his glare on her.

“Both of you are going to get yourselves killed and I can’t-" his voice cracks. He turns to pace away from them.

Audrey casts Duke a worried look.

Nathan stops by the dresser again. He takes a visible breath, shoulders lifting and falling.

When he turns back to them the desperation is obvious on his face, his emotions raw and exposed. Audrey feels like she should turn away and give him his privacy. Nathan doesn’t do displays like this but they and the situation have pushed him too far. “Need you both safe. Please...” Nathan’s voice fails him on the please, it breaks and loses the end of the word.  “I can protect the town, can track Croatoan, but I can’t… already spent six months thinking _both_ of you were dead once. Thinking I killed you! We lost Duke yesterday because I actually killed him!” Nathan’s voice breaks and he looks down at his hands then back up at them. “He could still be dead, we weren’t so stupid lucky! Tempting fate now, you both staying here. Croatoan gets either of you 'n that’s it, game over. So you both need to leave.”

Audrey wants to brush aside his words, wants to make hollow promises that they’ll all be fine. She can’t though.

“You’re right,” she says slowly, taking the wind out of his sails. He stops and stares at her and she gives him a sad little shrug. “You are,” she repeats. “If Croatoan gets to Duke he wins and we all could die here today. This could be our last morning waking up together, the three of us. Keeping Duke close is a risk. A big one. But how can we know that he’ll be any safer out in the world? We need Duke. We need his immunity, we need his resourcefulness, we need his brain. If we fail here and Croatoan destroys Haven, when he gets out there then it’ll be Duke on his own.” Audrey’s stomach clenches at the thought. She shakes her head. “No, Nathan. we stick together.”

“I always knew you wanted me for my mind,” Duke jokes.

Audrey scowls, she doesn’t think Nathan will appreciate humor at a time like this.

He doesn’t.

His eyebrows will touch his nose any moment if he furrows them any further.

Duke however remains incorrigible.

“I can’t believe how selfish you’re being, Nathan,” he challenges.

Nathan startles.  

“What? Like you’re the only one who can save this town? Quit hogging the limelight,” Duke scoffs.

“Duke.” Nathan actually sounds angry in a way he hasn’t been with Duke since...god since they got back from the Barn. He hasn’t been mad at Duke since then? How did she not notice?

Duke isn’t sharing Audrey’s revelations and he’s not backing down. If anything he gets more agitated. “So it’s okay for you to sacrifice yourself for Haven but if I want to do it-“

Nathan crosses the room, three quick strides. He gets right in Duke’s face and growls, “Stop it!”

“No. You are not expendable, Nathan.” Duke emphasizes the words with all the exasperation Audrey feels.

“Neither are you!” Nathan roars.

“Good! I’m glad we’ve got that covered,” Duke deadpans.

They’re both breathing hard by now, bare inches between them. It’s a scene Audrey’s been witness to many times before and it’s always fraught with tension. Even now that things are different that same palpable energy between the boys remains.

“Please,” Nathan says and it sounds like it costs him something to say the word. “You _have_ to go.”

“No,” Duke says equally as soft. “I’m not leaving. Not leaving you. Not leaving Audrey.”

“Damnit, Duke! You never had problems leaving me before!”

“I-“ Duke’s eyes go wide and his hands go up to pull at his hair. “ _I_ never had problems leaving _you_?” He demands. “Nathan? Why the hell do you think I even came back to Haven?”

Nathan doesn’t have an answer for that but Duke is really riled up now. “You wouldn’t leave, Nate!” Duke swears. “All that talk! All those plans we made and you wouldn’t leave!” Audrey realizes he’s not talking about this most recent retreat.

“Couldn’t just go, Duke! What were we gonna do? Just sail around on the Rouge like some endless summer?”

“Yes!” Duke explodes. “Exactly that! We were twenty-two! That is what twenty-two-year-olds do! And even if that wasn’t the case, this town was killing me, Nate. I couldn’t get work, not legal anyway and you-“ Duke is rarely at a loss for words but he positively splutters here. “You joined the freakin’ police force!”

Audrey can hear the betrayal still in his voice even after all these years. Nathan carries his hurt out for anyone who’s paying attention to see while Duke, Duke’s kept it to himself- but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

“After all the shit I went through with the cops, all the harassment and—" Duke gestures wildly, like there’s too much to even go into. “What was I supposed to do, Nathan? How could I stay? This town was killing me and you freakin’ sided with them!”

Nathan has the good grace to look ashamed. He considers his toes for a long moment.

“Never thought of it that way…” he admits, peering up at Duke from under his lashes.

Duke’s face softens like it always does, because it’s Nathan. “I got that,” he says quietly, sincerely. “I did. I forgave you for it. Hell, Nate you’re half the reason I _stayed_ when I came home in the first place.”

Nathan looks up at that. “Even after…”

Duke nods. “I mean, who else was going to help you get rid of the stick up your butt if I wasn’t around to remind you it didn’t belong there?”

Audrey snorts. She can’t help it. Duke cracks up too and slowly, so does Nathan.

Duke steps forward, though Audrey didn’t think they could get much closer and wraps his hand around the back of Nathan’s neck. He shakes him a little, presses their foreheads together.

“I’m staying. I’m gonna fix my mess, Nate. Those people out there, some of that is _my_ fault. _I_ troubled them. I thought leaving would help, I thought being here would make it worse. Turns out I was wrong. I _need_ to be here.” Duke’s words take Audrey’s breath away. He sounds so sure. He sounds so hopeful. “I helped nine people get control of their Troubles, Nate. Nine! Nine people who don’t have to live like that anymore.” Audrey can hear the pride in his voice and she’s so pleased, so very, very glad to hear it. “I’m not letting Croatoan scare me. I’m not letting him dictate how I live my life. And if I do die I’m going to be really freakin’ pissed if you go off and let people punch you for money in some dive bar somewhere again.”

“Nathan!” Audrey breathes, shocked and a little horrified. It sounds exactly like something Nathan would do.

Nathan looks out the window, embarrassed. “It-“

“No.” Duke says, plain and simple. He’s not taking any reasoning behind that. “I’m always telling you what to do? Well, I’m telling you don’t do that. I’m telling you to live, even if you’re on your own, because I’m going to. I’m choosing this fight, Nathan. I’ve run from it all my life and that hasn’t worked. So it’s time to stop doing that.” There’s resignation in Duke’s voice but there’s also determination. He isn’t going into this fight thinking he’s already lost.

And if Duke Crocker thinks there’s a chance then there damn well might be. For all of them.


	2. The Gar

They take to the north-west side of town that morning. Reports from the station of all the attacks overnight seem to be clustered there. Figures they’d been looking in the absolute wrong place yesterday. It’s a lot of farms and vacation cabins going away from the water and further into the woods. There are three good locations for Croatoan to hide out on this side of town - the Aldermere farm, the old Sutcliffe mansion and the Moonrise Point Lighthouse. All the other structures are too far into the woods for Croatoan to be able to get into town and cause all the havoc he’s been wreaking.

Roger makes Audrey want to strangle him with his incessant prattle in one ear while Dwight informs her of all the Troubles Croatoan claimed during the night in the other. She wonders when the hell Croatoan’s finding time to sleep. They spotted the gar again around dawn. It tried to carry off the Richmond’s dog. Jake Richmond almost got carried off himself when he went out to save it. Dog and boy were rescued by the Guard. That’s one win for their side. Though the gar escaped.

They try the Aldermere farm first. It’s closest to town. The Aldermere family abandoned it after the plants started growing uncontrollably thanks to Brian Aldermere’s Trouble. They moved into town with one of their cousins. Harder for plants to sprout up through concrete. Audrey and Dwight have discussed using the Aldermere Trouble to augment supplies eventually if they need to. Much more time under the shroud and they will definitely need to.

The road to the farm is almost overgrown. It is shockingly green after the gray and brown winter landscape they’ve been driving through. It stands out brightly against the gray of the shroud, defiantly cheerful. Audrey feels warmer just looking at it even though Duke’s truck is as drafty as ever. All the outbuildings are covered in ivy, the fields rising with corn. The grass is a knee high menace and the house itself is almost eclipsed by the willow that had probably once stood beside it but now covers the porch roof in a green curtain.

The farm is empty. They find no sign of life in the house after Duke picks the lock. Their footsteps echo on the hardwood floors, a doll with red yarn hair lays forgotten under the kitchen table as if waiting for its owner to come back. Audrey adds curing Brian Aldermere and family to the list of things she has to do. Nathan keeps rubbing at the back of his neck and Audrey can’t figure out why, there’s nothing there. Just like there’s nothing here! She wants to storm through the place slamming doors and overturning beds but she knows better, the FBI taught her better. She keeps her temper in check and makes her way methodically through the house. Roger balks at checking the outbuildings. He’s allergic to feathers he claims. They leave him and Duke on the porch while she and Nathan check out the barn and the other buildings Audrey can’t name. She’s a city girl thank you very much.

The wind whistles through the unnaturally green fields. All around the hills are brown with winter but the plants on the Aldermere farm keep thriving. Audrey takes a breath and enjoys the scent of healthy green things all around. They may be wrong for the weather but at least they’re the right kind of green. A growing, healthy green, not the awful phosphorescence of the Void. Haven is waiting for this siege to end. It’ll come back, she knows it. Feels it in her bones. All she has to do is make sure that happens.

A shadow moves over them. No bird that large could stay air-bound. Audrey’s eyes shoot up and what they find sends a sickening jolt of adrenaline through her system. She has no time to think, cannot risk shouting a warning, she tackles Nathan to the ground, rolling them beneath the bushes in the Aldermere’s backyard.

She ends up on top, gets her hand over his mouth. “Gar,” she whispers and sees his blue eyes go wide in understanding, feels his jaw clench under her fingers.

She didn’t see if it was a long tailed gar or a short tailed gar, she’d been more focused on the teeth and the claws to think to check. She has no idea how they’re going to get out of this one. Dwight had told her handguns were useless against the one the Guard had come up against and they hadn’t exactly brought rocket launchers in Duke’s truck.

They lay very, very still, still as statues, still as stone, and Audrey prays that it keeps flying past them.

The buzz of the flies is their first clue that they aren’t that lucky. They land on Audrey’s hands, their tiny dirty feet crawl through her hair. Audrey barely clings to her composure, this is too much after the bugs in the dark patch. She restrains the urge to scream and bat at herself only because she’s seen people do that, go to pieces and do the exact worst thing in a crisis. She’s made snarky jokes about it at crime scenes afterward. They’re not going to die out here. Croatoan doesn’t get to win that easily.

The first bite is on the top of her ear. She can see a couple of the flies out of the corner of her eye. They’re tiny but the bite stings like that time Audrey Parker went to Florida on spring break and got bitten by a fire ant. She breathes through her nose and vows she’s going to figure out a way to stake Croatoan to a fire ant nest and coat him in honey.  

The buzzing gets louder. More flies. The gar must have landed. Audrey feels her stomach sink. She shuts her eyes and hopes that Duke doesn’t realize they’ve been gone for too long and come looking for them now. Beneath her Nathan jerks like he’s been bitten and he has been bitten, has to have been bitten with the flies all around them she knows that but…

“You can feel that!” she hisses, amazed and outraged that he hasn’t told her and to be realistic this is absolutely not the time but...

He turns his head slowly so he can see her and not disturb the flies which are buzzing so loud in her ears. There’s one crawling along the back of her neck and she wants desperately to swat at it but she doesn’t. She holds still and concentrates on enjoying the smug look on Nathan’s face.

“Yeah,” he admits quietly, but there’s a smile dancing in his eyes.

“How long?” she whispers.

“A while,” he answers and Audrey has to fight down on the urge to laugh so hard. Delight bubbles in her chest. The fly on the back of her neck bites and it’s Audrey turn to jerk. There’s a snuffling sound off to their right, an animal sucking in air to scent for prey. She and Nathan go very, very still. It’s close. She breathes shallowly through her mouth, trying to be as quiet as possible.

If they are very still and very quiet they might just make it through this alive.

Still and quiet she tells herself, thinking of the remains the Guard had found yesterday. You couldn’t even call what was left a body. She’s not sure how they’re going to do notifications on that without being able to do DNA tests at the lab in Bangor.

The flies bite and Nathan jerks with each one, tiny, minute movements. Audrey knows the willpower it’s taking for her not to move, far less for Nathan’s newly re-awakened and sensitive nerves.

“Turn your trouble back on,” she mutters against the side of his head. She can feel his muscles taut through their clothes, tense and in pain. The bites are awful, stinging and sharp.

“I… I don’t know if I can turn it back off again,” he answers, voice barely a murmur.

The beast hops around making its weird clicking noise with its tongue, snuffling loudly. There’s no dragging sound as it moves and Audrey knows it’s got to be a short tailed gar. Holding still and not disturbing the flies becomes even more important with that realization.

She can see it now out of the corner of her eye; it looks like something out of a nightmare, its twisted face and gaping maw full of teeth. Some of the teeth are broken, like this gar got too excited chowing down on someone’s skull and bit too hard or something. Its wings are folded and without the shadow those wings cast she and Nathan would be toast right now. Dark hair covers most of the creature’s body but its chest and stomach are bare and pink like a human’s. There’s something smeared on it… Audrey fights the whole body shudder and the urge to vomit as she realizes it’s brain matter from some poor unfortunate Havenite. She hears William’s voice smirking as he tells her gar smear pieces of their victims on their chest so the flies can feast.

Nathan flinches as he’s bitten again.

The wind shifts and no one ever told her about the gar stench. It threatens to overwhelm them more than the flies. It smells like old blood and the monkey cages at the zoo, copper and musk so strong she can almost taste it. She can feel Nathan taking shallow breaths through his mouth.

A fly bites her shoulder blade, beneath her coat, beneath her shirt and Audrey swears she can feel its six little legs crawling across her bare skin. She’s filled with revulsion so strong she’s holding onto her control by her fingertips at this point. She concentrates on the feeling of Nathan breathing against her collarbone and the way his fingertips are digging into her hips, holding onto her, grounding her.

Miraculously the gar starts shuffling away with the weird hop it does when it’s on the ground. The buzzing gets softer too as the flies follow their master. It edges toward the side of the barn, away from the house, closer to the woods and Audrey dares to turn her head to watch it go. The Aldermere family is long gone. It’s a small comfort that they won’t be falling prey to the gar.

When it’s disappeared around the corner of the barn Audrey finally, finally, relaxes. She slowly drops her forehead into the dip between Nathan’s neck and shoulder and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s gone,” she whispers and feels Nathan go lax beneath her. His hands come up to stroke up and down her back. She knows he’s feeling the leather of her coat, the coolness of the fabric and the pleasure of that knowledge is as sharp and sudden as the pain of the fly bites was. Audrey holds onto it while Nathan’s hands move steady and slow until Nathan sucks in a sharp breath. He brings a hand away from her coat, the fingers are bloody and sticky, there’s the remnants of a wing attached and Audrey’s heart sinks.

From somewhere nearby, too close for comfort, comes the roar of a gar that has just finished counting its flies and found one missing.

They roll to their feet, drawing their service weapons though bullets aren’t much use against a gar.

The shadow swoops overhead again and just then there comes a torrent of fire from the trees.

“Duke!” Audrey breathes, and there has quite frankly never been anything hotter than Duke Crocker strutting out from under the trees, coat flaring behind him as he brandishes his flamethrower at the gar. Duke sets off another stream of flames and the gar beats its wings rising higher and higher into the air and then turns and flees.

“Are you two okay?” Duke asks, switching off the weapon.

“Nice flamethrower,” Nathan says instead of answering the question. It occurs to Audrey that he must have stolen it when they went after the spidren if it’s still in his truck.

Duke turns to him with a pleased little boy grin. He pats the flame thrower all casual like it’s not the coolest weapon he’s ever hefted. “This old thing?” he jokes.

They laugh and then Duke’s got his hand around the back of Nathan’s neck and is pulling him and Audrey into a three-way hug. Audrey can feel Duke’s heart drumming in his chest and realizes how worried he was. She can feel it in the way his fingers are bunched in the back of her coat, holding on tight. His stubble brushes her forehead as he drops a kiss there and it occurs to her that Nathan can feel all that too. It gives her such a thrill of pleasure that she pulls out of the hug to poke Nathan in the ribs.

Nathan yelps and jumps.

“Did you tell Duke?” she demands.

“Tell Duke what?” Duke asks.

Nathan gives him a shy smile; she’s pretty sure if she checked right now he’d be scuffing his toe in the dirt.

“Nathan can feel again.” She drops the bomb and waits.

Duke’s expression goes from shocked to amazed to awed in seconds. He opens and closes his mouth for a moment.

“Is that so?” is all he manages, about as nonchalant as he was about the flamethrower.

Nathan’s tongue darts out to wet his lips unconsciously and then he smiles, slow and spreading til it takes over his face.

“So you mean if I punched you right now,” Duke teases for cover, but Audrey can see how overwhelmed he is at the idea, delight and disbelief warring in his face.

Nathan laughs, sharp and startled, eyes bright and pleased. Instead of answering he grabs the back of Duke’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss that looks like a long drink of water after a year in the desert. Duke’s hands come up to cup Nathan’s cheeks, his thumbs stroke tenderly over those cheekbones and Audrey can see Nathan sigh under the caress. He cards his fingers through Duke’s hair and Audrey knows how soft Duke’s hair can be under her fingers, the scratch of the shaved sides on her palms. She shivers just thinking about Nathan feeling those sensations.

From overhead there’s a cry, like the gar has disturbed something in a nest high up and Duke and Nathan pull apart reluctantly.

“We should get out of here,” Duke says regretfully.

Nathan nods shortly but he takes his time trailing his hand down Duke’s neck and over the front of his shirt before he pulls away entirely. He looks a little drunk, drugged on touch and Audrey wants nothing more than to keep that look on his face.

Unfortunately Haven’s never-ending stream of emergencies won’t allow it.

They get back to the house and Roger has bailed. The sight of the gar was apparently too much for him. Audrey swears for so long Duke comes and puts his hands on her shoulders to make her stop. “If we’re lucky the gar’ll eat him,” he offers and she laughs because the other option is crying.

“Sadly for Roger,” Duke reaches into his pocket and fishes out something that jingles as he holds it up, “I had the keys on me so he’s hoofing it to wherever he’s run off to.” He smirks as he says it and Audrey has no choice but to give Duke a small smile because he’s trying, he’s trying so hard. He’s got to be terrified now that Roger’s gone that Croatoan will find him yet here he is trying to comfort her.

Audrey takes the step forward and wraps herself around Duke, arms tight around his torso like that alone could keep him safe. Duke doesn’t say anything, just tucks her under his chin and wraps his arms around her. Audrey lets herself lean for a long moment while Duke runs soothing hands up and down her back.

She pulls away, hissing, when he hits a sore spot.

“What is it?” he demands, letting her step back. “Are you hurt?”

“Gars have biting flies,” Audrey explains, pulling her hair aside and turning so Duke can see the spot on the back of her neck.

Duke makes a sympathetic noise, stepping closer to run a thumb up the back of her neck beside the bite. “Doesn’t look like it bled,” he tells her, but that doesn’t take the worry out of his tone.

“No. Stings like something else though,” Nathan agrees.

“You too?” Duke rounds on him. Nathan’s pushed up his jacket sleeve to show off an angry red welt on his wrist.

“Got me in a couple places,” he confesses and it takes Audrey’s breath away that not only can he feel that but he’s admitting to the wounds as well.

“Probably got Parker in a few more though, she was on top,” Nathan explains.

Duke arches an eyebrow at that. "Just what were you two doing while I was guarding Roger?” he demands.

Nathan’s face goes red and Audrey laughs at how indignant his voice is when he complains “She just tackled me! No warning!”

“And probably saved our lives!” she argues back for the sake of arguing.

“Guess I should’ve asked more questions before agreeing to this. I had no idea that’s what you two were into,” Duke teases, making Nathan sputter.

Audrey shoots Duke a wink that makes him laugh, a real laugh that fills Audrey with warmth down to her toes.

“Come on, let’s see what they’ve got in the medicine cabinet,” Duke says, clapping a hand on Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan presses into the contact like a cat wanting to be petted and the sight fills Audrey with sheer delight. Duke notices too because his thumb comes up to smooth across the patch of skin left bare above the collar of Nathan’s jacket. Nathan glances at Duke from under his lashes the hint of a smile on his lips.

“Don’t think they need to be dressed,” he argues and Audrey gets the impression like her comment earlier, this is just for the sake of arguing.

“Better to be safe than itchy,” Duke replies. “Who knows what those flies might be carrying,” he adds with a theatrical shudder. His tone is light but it sends a cold spear of worry through Audrey’s gut.

Who knows what the flies might be carrying.

The bathroom off the kitchen is old and small with whitewashed wood paneling, exactly the kind of bathroom Audrey would expect of a farm. They all crowd in there, arms and knees brushing and they could go out to the kitchen table, spread out a little more but none of them can find it in them to object to being pressed so close together.

The medicine cabinet only has rubbing alcohol and Audrey resigns herself to the burning with a sigh. She turns to Nathan out of habit, ready to search for wounds he can’t feel. He catches her gaze and smiles, shakes his head.

“Can see to myself, Parker,” he tells her wonder in his grin.

Audrey grins back. He can. He can tell where he’s been bitten. He can _feel_ it.

Duke touches Nathan’s shoulder. “Let me, anyway,” he asks and neither Audrey nor Nathan misses that he didn’t make a joke. He asked.

Nathan’s ears turn pink but he nods sharply, tugs off his jacket and hangs it over Audrey’s on the back of the doorknob. He shivers hard in the cool air of the room and then smiles at that.

“Hope you’re still grinning after this rubbing alcohol gets in those bites,” Audrey teases.

Nathan huffs a laugh and pushes up the sleeves of his sweater. “Can take it,” he tells her.

“Yeah, yeah, Tough guy,” she says archly, feeling her smile stretch her cheeks. He can _feel._

He’s got fewer bites than Audrey does but they’re as angry and red and painful as hers. She sets to work disinfecting her own wounds, but her eyes are drawn back time and again to Duke’s fingers, moving so carefully over Nathan’s skin as he wields yet another cotton ball, cleaning the bites on Nathan’s arms. Nathan winces at the sting of the alcohol and then smiles at that each time. Duke glances up at him and huffs a laugh through his nose.They grin at each other for a long, long moment, Duke’s thumb smoothing over the sensitive skin on the inside of Nathan’s forearm.

Still holding eye contact Duke leans down and blows over the bite, probably trying to take the sting out of the alcohol and making Nathan give a full body shiver, all but yanking his arm out of Duke’s.

“You cannot do that,” he declares eyes gone wide, pupils huge.

Duke grins proud and smug, and Nathan scowls in return.

Duke relents, expression going soft and reaches for Nathan's arm. “I won’t,” he promises.

Nathan looks at his hand for long moments before he nods, meets Duke’s gaze. “Okay. I trust you,” he gruffs out, and Audrey’s stomach flips at the awe and fear that crosses Duke’s face. Nathan stretches his arm out again and Duke takes Nathan’s wrist so, so carefully in his hands.

Duke wields the cotton ball like it’s a surgical instrument, meticulously swiping around and across the bites, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he concentrates. It burns, Audrey knows it burns, but Nathan holds still, lets him, watches him with wide, thoughtful eyes. She wonders if he’s cataloguing the warmth of Duke’s thumb on his wrist, the rasp of Duke’s fingers on the back of his hand holding his arm steady. Duke stays focused on the task at hand like he’s disarming a bomb, like he’s pulling any toxins out of the bites with the force of his gaze alone.

The only time he looks up is to check in with Nathan. _Is this okay_ , he asks in their wordless language before he starts to clean the next bite. Each time Nathan nods, even when all that’s left are the bites on Nathan’s neck. There are two, angry, red marks, not swollen like mosquito bites, maybe a little bigger than midge fly bites.

Duke sweeps the cotton ball over the last bite and Nathan shivers, the chill of the alcohol on his skin or maybe the brush of Duke’s fingers after.

“Sorry,” Duke rasps, glancing up to meet Nathan’s gaze.

Nathan licks his lips and Audrey holds her breath. Duke’s eyes follow the movement, intent and heavy lidded already. The atmosphere in the bathroom is charged like the air before a storm. She can see the next few minutes rolling out before them like a movie. Nathan’s going to kiss Duke and they’re going to put the search on hold, take an hour to discover what life is like without Nathan’s Trouble. They deserve it. God knows they deserve it. Audrey’s so on board with this, her heart’s already pounding in her chest.

Then Nathan takes a breath and looks away. He squeezes Duke’s fingers with a quiet “Thanks,” that’s full of all the regret they’re all feeling. “Should go,” he tells the awkward silence and Audrey nods, bites her lip hard to keep from screaming. She hates this. She hates that they can’t even take five freakin minutes. She’s going to end Croatoan. Soon.

They squeeze into Duke’s truck with Nathan in the middle - Audrey makes sure of that - his long thigh pressed tight against Duke’s as they head back to the main road.

“Came back this morning,” Nathan confesses quietly over the rumble of the engine. “Was brushing my teeth, realized I could feel the toothbrush. Guess after all the Troubled folk we’ve given the shot to musta convinced myself it was possible.”  He laughs then, like he hasn’t dared admit it even to himself before. _He can feel again._ Audrey’s heart swells.

“Just like that!” Duke chuckles and ruffles Nathan’s hair without looking away from the road. Nathan bats at his hand but their fingers brush and hold for seconds longer than necessary.

Audrey thinks back to how they started the day, the fight they had this morning, what he said to Duke, his words yesterday to the pregnant girl with the cocoon Trouble, the advice he gave Marion- it’s been something he’s been building towards all on his own, a slow healing. She’s never seen Nathan as broken, even if that’s how he saw himself, but she knows what it means to him to be able to feel.  She’s always, in the back of her mind, thought he’d one day figure out a way to turn off his Trouble with that shrewd mind of his- if he could ever find a way to forgive Duke and himself. She’s glad she’s never pushed him on it or taken him up on trying to cure his Trouble; this was something he needed to come to on his own.

She reaches over and squeezes his knee through his jeans. _He can feel that_. She’s so proud of him. Nathan puts his hand over hers, twines their fingers. He can feel the scratch of denim under their hands and the cool air of the truck where the heater is still working on kicking in.

“We should go track down Roger,” Nathan says, dragging her thoughts back to business.

Duke shakes his head. “No, we’re ending this today. We don’t need him.”

Audrey agrees with him. Whatever’s going to happen is going to happen soon. They don’t need anyone else around to be more collateral damage.

“Do we try the lighthouse or the Sutcliffe estate first?” Duke asks, when the main road comes into sight. They both look to her for a decision. The engine hums as Audrey debates.

“Sutcliffe estate’s closer,” Audrey answers finally. She has a gut feeling the lighthouse might be the place they find Croatoan but she just… she’s always been the type to rip off the bandaid all in one go, but today she needs just a little while longer with her boys first.

She isn’t sure she’ll have much time with them after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a fav part? fav line? Why not tell me about it in the comments? <3


	3. Nothing Can Stop The Schmoo

Audrey calls Dwight but gets McHugh instead. She tells him about the gar sighting and lets him know where they’re headed. Cure rates have dropped to a trickle since they left. Dwight’s considering calling a halt on even trying. Audrey orders them not to and hangs up with an annoyed huff.

The air in the truck is thick with her frustration, with all of their anxiety. It feels less like a search and more like a drive to the gallows. Audrey’s throat closes at the thought. She still doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she finds Croatoan. Duke’s only safe as long as Croatoan doesn’t know he’s alive and yet Duke’s walking with them into the lion’s den. Nathan can feel now, all the hundreds of way he could get injured will actually hurt him now. Worry piles upon worry until Audrey feels like she’s being swamped under a rain of what-if’s.

“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when this is all over?” Duke’s voices startles her out of her thoughts. She stares at him for a long moment before her brain is able to process the words, the very idea of there being life after all this is startling. The thought that they could actually win, fix things.

“Gonna order pizza from that place outside of town, Big Bill’s.” Nathan says like he’s been thinking about it already.

“Not make a trip to Ihop?” Audrey teases on automatic, there’s no Ihop in Haven proper. There’s a Waffle House and a Denny’s but early in their partnership Nathan had informed her very seriously that he could not order pancakes at Waffle House and respect himself in the morning.

Nathan shakes his head with gravity. “Extra large pie, everything on it and garlic knots for me and an order for you, Parker, ‘cause ’m not sharing.”

Audrey gives a huff of indignation and Duke chuckles.

“Last time you ate seven!” Nathan protests.

When they’re done laughing Nathan gives them the side eye, considering. “Well, maybe can share. Don’t want to eat _too_ much garlic...” he says with that sly smile that is not at all sly but is entirely endearing.

Audrey and Duke break into laughter again and it feels good, it feels like something lifting.

“What about you, Audrey?” Duke prompts.

Audrey leans back against the seat and blows out a breath. What’s the first thing she’s going to do.

“Apart from sleep for 3 days straight?” she asks and they all share that lifting laugh again. She thinks hard.

“New clothes,” she declares. Nathan gives her an incredulous look. Audrey smiles, a little embarrassed but she explains. “I… have a lot of memories of wearing hand me downs,” she stumbles as always on how to express this - these memories that aren’t her own but have shaped her nonetheless. “Wearing pretty much nothing but hand me downs, for a long time. I...she…” Audrey takes a breath.

“You want clothes that are just yours,” Duke fills in for her. She flashes him a grateful smile. “Proves you’re not that same kid with nothing.”

“Yes,” she says, nodding. Nathan squeezes her hand.

“Didn’t realize--” he begins but she squeezes back and gives him a shrug.

“Stealing your clothes don’t count as hand me downs so it’s okay,” she teases.

“‘Tween you and Duke, won’t have any clothes for me soon,” he grumbles but he can’t keep back the smile can’t quite hide the little spark of possessive pleasure he gets in them wearing his clothes. Audrey laughs and shares a look with Duke.

With the Gull gone - they’d salvaged what they could - and the stores shut down thanks to the fog wall and the state of emergency they’d been forced into, a lot of her clothes had come from the donation bins set up at the station and the school. Audrey doesn’t need fancy, and most of the time she doesn’t even think about it, a t shirt’s a t shirt after all, but when she does it bothers the little girl she remembers being. It makes her feel small and worthless. More than that though looking in the mirror and seeing a sweater that doesn’t belong to her makes Audrey itch just a little. Wearing someone else’s clothes feels a little too much like not being herself. Audrey’s had enough of that for more than one lifetime.

The energy in the truck’s flatlining, delving back into worry again.

“What about you, Duke,” she asks, trying to keep the ball going.

“Me?” Duke falters for a moment, a wealth of emotions in his eyes before he gets a hold of himself and gives her the fakest smile she’s seen from him since he got back. “I’m going to need a trip to Tahiti,” he smirks. The alarm she feels must cross her face though because he adds “Hope you two have your passports up to date.” Audrey relaxes a little but she can’t quite put away the idea that maybe that’s really what he wants; to leave Haven behind when this is all over.

“Tahiti’d be warm,” Nathan says speculatively, distracting her from her worrisome thoughts.

“Look at you,” she laughs, “you’ve been able to feel for five minutes and you’re already fed up of the cold.”

“He’s lucky he’s got _two_ lovers to warm his bed then,” Duke jokes but Audrey’s paying attention she hears the flicker of anxiety under the brag, sees the way his fingers tense and flex on the steering wheel as he says the words. It does a lot to settle the Tahiti worry to know Duke wants this, wants them, enough that he can’t hide that hint of fear.

She opens her mouth to reassure him but Nathan beats her to it with a murmured “Luckier’n I deserve,” soft and sincere and Audrey falls in love with him all over again, this quiet man who feels so deeply. He squeezes Duke’s shoulder and then lets his hand fall away, pretends not to notice the deep, shaky breath Duke hauls in.

“We’re all luckier than we deserve,” Audrey agrees, twining her fingers with Nathan’s.

“We just have to hope our luck holds,” Duke murmurs.

Audrey closes her eyes and sends up a silent prayer. Please, please, please. She can’t lose them. She can’t lose the town. She can’t let Croatoan win. But above all else she can’t lose them.

She won’t.

The thought has her setting her jaw.

She _won’t._

The Sutcliffe mansion puts the Keegan estate to shame, a main house with two extensive wings on either side rises before the background of the ubiquitous Maine pine trees. It seems like just the kind of place Croatoan the Self Important would choose for a lair. Old Mr and Mrs. Sutcliffe are dead, they died some time in those first awful weeks after the shroud went up. Audrey’s not sure when. She didn’t know them so they were just another pair on a list of names. Nathan knew them though. He’d gotten that pinched look on his face, the one where he’s trying to be as numb on the inside as he was on the outside. Audrey hates that look. Hates that he thinks he needs to wear it. Hates that their lives inspire him to wear it so often.

The long drive splits into two curves around a large, low, wide fountain. The fountain is the centerpiece, it’s meant to catch visitors’ eyes with its three tiers and creepy cherubs. It certainly catches Audrey’s eye though she can’t say why at first. The jets aren’t on, the water isn’t tinkling merrily back into the base. Light glints off it though, in sharp sparks. Beside her Nathan leans forward, eyes searching for… something that’s out of place.

Duke spots them first. He swears softly under his breath.

“What is it?” Audrey demands, leaning forward as well.

“Birds?” Nathan asks.

Audrey spots the small dark shapes in the grass. Sure they could be birds. But they’re very still. Her heart sinks. So much for a little extra time.

“They have to be statues,” she offers, but she doesn’t believe the words even as they’re coming out of her mouth. There are too many of them, at least seven strewn across the lawn as if someone had simply tossed them out of a bag.

Duke parks in running distance from the fountain and they get out to investigate.

Nathan kicks one accidentally. There’s a solid clunk when his boot makes contact and the thing that rolls away from them is certainly bird-shaped. Audrey is reminded of taxidermied animals she’s seen but this… this isn’t the same at all. It isn’t stone. It looks as if a bird had been dipped in cement and then left to dry. The feathers are all intact, the mouth is open in a silent cry. Audrey shudders and looks away to spot another creature hanging from the branch of a winter bare tree. It’s a bat, the ears and wings folded down. It hangs like it’s sleeping but its toes are now permanently curved around that branch, solid and gray, the muscles and tendons picked out in sharp relief. Even its’ nostrils are clearly visible, but coated in that awful grayness.

A shrill, angry whistle draws their eyes to the fountain. Even as they watch a cardinal steams out of the sky giving a scolding cry as it slams directly into the fountain that has offended it in some way. Audrey has a moment of dawning horror and then there’s a muddy plop. They hustle over, sure the bird will drown if there’s any water left in the fountain. It surfaces a moment later, thrashing around in liquid that same awful gray as the statues. The liquid was too still before, reflecting the blue of the sky so Audrey hadn’t thought it was anything but water. The splashes from the bird erase any idea that it might be. The liquid in the pool rises in thick oily arcs and then drops back into the fountain as the cardinal tries to free itself. Finally it flops out of the muck and onto the edge of the fountain, its red feathers covered in a thick coating of gray. The bird wobbles to its feet and shakes itself off in that waddle that birds do. Before it has come to the end of its shiver the liquid has hardened along its tail and spreads up its body. Before they can reach it the bird is as gray and still as the rest littering the yard.

It tumbles over with a dull thud.

“Well, I guess that explains what happened,” Duke says quietly, and Audrey can see the tension in his neck muscles that bely his tone and give away how disturbed he is.

Nathan takes the last few steps to lean down, hand outstretched to touch the bird.

“Nathan!” Audrey can’t help the cry.

Nathan looks ruefully from her and back to the bird and nods. He accepts the stick Duke hands him and uses it to gently roll the cardinal over. There’s no sign of life, it may as well be a statue.

Audrey shivers though she’s warm enough in her coat.

“Should check out the main house,” Nathan says.

“Carefully,” Duke adds.

Nathan gives him a look that’s meant to say ‘of course’.

Duke gives him a ‘you were going to touch the creepy bird statue with your bare hands! I did in fact need to say that!’ look back.

They give the fountain a wide berth, and enter the house through one of the side doors. The living room is clear. There’s dust on the mantel and the house is as cold inside as out.

“My mother’s parents were friends with the Sutcliffes. Played here a couple times as a kid,” Nathan tells them quietly as they pace across the front room. “Looks just like I remember it.”

Audrey glances around at the outdated wallpaper and the enormous cabbage roses on the upholstery. “I believe it,” she tells him.

They open the French doors and find a hallway covered in dust. Three doors lead off it and the hallway empties into the foyer ahead. The lack of footprints is a good sign that there’s no one here but they know better than to trust that.

Duke takes the first door, Audrey the second and Nathan the third. Nathan counts them off with his fingers silently. They open their doors. Audrey’s room is clear, it’s a pastel decorated bathroom the Easter bunny would be proud of. She may have thrown up a little in her mouth at the sight of it.

“Library,” Duke mouths when she peeks her head back out and then gives an exaggerated shudder to indicate what he thinks of the interior decorating.

Audrey grins.

“Bathroom,” she offers quietly and makes her own disgusted face that makes them smile in return.

“Den,” Nathan answers their questioning looks, “lots of antlers in there.”  

Audrey has had enough antlers for the rest of her life after the duneyrr in the Void. She gives the door a wide berth as they continue down the hall.

Nathan steps into the entryway first and between one step and the next there’s suddenly no air in the room. Audrey clutches at her throat even as she’s slammed to her knees and then even her knees give way and her shoulder cracks into the wooden floor. She can see Duke’s feet just behind the open door of the den, scuffed size eleven boots on their side. Then her vision goes gray and then there’s nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The animals covered in the schmoo are inspired by Tanzania's alkali lake - [image from the Smithsonian mag](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/this-alkaline-african-lake-turns-animals-into-stone-445359/)
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> Got a favourite part? line? scene? Tell me about it in the comments :)


	4. If That's What You Need

When she opens her eyes she’s on a couch somewhere. Not the Sutcliffe mansion; she can hear waves crashing outside. Audrey blinks in the dim light of the lamp feeling slow and stupid. What happened she asks herself looking around the new room.

Her heart misses it’s next beat. Croatoan sits in the easy chair opposite her.

“Hello, Dove,” he says with a smile. “Did you miss me?”

Audrey scrambles up to a sitting position. Her hand flies to her holster but it is, of course, empty. Her weapon was in her hand when he knocked them out. She must have dropped it. Her gaze flicks wildly around the room but there’s nothing in here she can use for a weapon. From the silence she can guess there’s also no one else in here, just her and this soulless bastard.

“Where’s Nathan?” She demands, thoughts rocketing around her mind: did he see Duke? He might not have. Duke had been quiet since they entered the house.

“I needed to talk with you privately, and we didn’t need to be disturbed. So I offered him a Trouble-free life with a copy of you. He took the easy way out.” Croatoan flicks his hand like he’s dislodging a pesky bug. Audrey feels real dread filling her stomach now. There’s no way that’s what happened. Nathan would never.

“I was very disappointed in you, Dove,” Croatoan’s continuing even while Audrey’s mind considers all the possibilities of what he really could have done to Nathan.

“What because I stabbed you in the neck?” Audrey asks, rising to her feet. “I thought you’d be proud. I was only following in your murderous footsteps after all, _Dad_.” Maybe heckling the psychotic murderer might not be a good idea but it’s all she’s got at this point.

Croatoan doesn’t get up from his seat.

“Do you know why I nicknamed you Dove? Not because you were gentle.” Croatoan smiles. It isn’t a particularly nice one. “But because I knew you could soar. And you have, oh you have, my darling girl. The aether I’ve harvested in the last few days-” Croatoan snaps his fingers and a flame appears hovering over his palm. He snaps them again and it goes out. “-it’s exquisite.”

Audrey shudders.

“You can control the Troubles you take.” Audrey doesn’t know why that is what sends the wash of fear down her spine. She’d known all along but to have it confirmed…

Croatoan smiles.

“So then why do you need me?” she demands.

“What I did to Mara, when I healed her, fusing the aether to her immune system, it gave her such a bond with the aether. She could do things with it no one else could. And now that gift is yours.”

“I won’t Trouble people for you,” she swears.

“Why not?” he asks reasonably. “You did it before. With Duke, even.”

“That was different! People were dying.”

Croatoan shakes his head, a parent with a wilful child again. “If that’s what you need, Dove,” he says sadly.

“What do you mean?” Audrey demands, a sinking feeling in her gut. She takes a step back and finds herself pressed against the wall of the room. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.

“You would throw away our work, our world, our _family_ for these… simple creatures?” Croatoan asks, voice still calm, still beseeching, but his eyes, those eyes are as empty as the creatures in the Void. They hold her, implore her - Audrey feels their push but she will not yield. She’s Audrey Parker. She fought Mara Cross to hold this form. _She will not yield._

“You’re not my family,” she spits. “Nathan is my family. Duke was my family.”

“Duke was a resource, a useful one. I’m not pleased you took him away from me.” Croatoan glowers.

“What’s that? I couldn’t hear your displeasure over my mourning,” she answers. He didn’t see him! Duke is out there somewhere!

Croatoan laughs outright at her words. “You always were a spirited one, my Dove.” He shakes his head gently, fondly, a father amused at a child’s outrageous behavior.

It makes Audrey’s face burn with rage. A resource! Duke was a resource to him! Not a living, breathing person. Not someone who was good and kind and chose to help when he could. To Croatoan, Duke was simply a reservoir for aether when he needed it.

That’s when the possibility hits Audrey hard. “I think you’ve got too much spirit,” she snarls at Croatoan and throws out her arm.

She pulls the way Charlotte taught her, not with her muscles but with her mind. She calls to the aether humming in his blood. She didn’t know how she was going to fight him this morning, she hadn’t known yesterday or the day before either. He was unkillable. She’d stabbed him in the neck and still he’d survived. What more would it take she’d wondered?

Now she knows.

She watches those empty eyes go wide, real fear seeping into them, quickly eclipsed by fury. Croatoan lashes out with a speed she hadn’t been expecting. The pain that sears up her arm leaves her breathless. It’s broken, she realizes, snapped like a twig between Croatoan’s palms. He’s looming over her, panting like he’s the one in pain.

“How dare you?” he rages, face purple.

She looks up at him. When did she end up on her knees on the floor? It doesn’t matter. He’s scared now. She’s scaring him. She laughs in his face. “Nathan and I’ll have matching x-rays now,” the thought bubbles up through her lips and makes her laugh hysterically.

She puts out her left hand and pulls.

Croatoan scrambles back.

“Let’s see how long you keep loving your precious Havenites when they no longer love you,” he growls.

Audrey hears the threat in his words but she has no idea what’s coming next.

The world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a fav part? line? why not tell me about it in the comments :)


End file.
